World’s Worst Websites, Part I

Sometimes an awful website is found by someone at work.  It will be sent to the office in a mass email.  I save these emails.  I will now share the worst websites with you.

Accept Jesus, Forever Forgiven!

This site told me I could have eternal life if I do what it says.  The problem is the moving colors make my eyes hurt so I can’t read everything.  There’s a panther running backwards in the bottom left corner.  No one tells me why.

Worst Website - Accept Jesus, Forever Forgiven

Pacific Island Artisans

This site was presumably made by an artist on a small island to help promote other artists on that island.  I don’t know why the colors are so bad.  You can jump to the bottom of the page.  Why?  We don’t know.  If you press on a menu item, you get a PDF.  The PDF has links to other pages and other websites.  Most of them are broken links.

Worst Website - Pacific Island Artisans

Pacific Island Artisans - made by artists (for free) for artists (with no business sense)

Vatican’s Page for John Paul II

The former Pope is walking in high tops through a bunch of dates towards a cross at the top of a mountain.  The sun and the moon are both present.  I’m told not to be afraid.  There’s an endless string of pop-ups that don’t make sense in Italian or English.  I’m not sure what this site is for.  Probably to honor the last pope.

Worst Website - John Paul II

Like a pilgrimage, this website is supposed to be a horrible experience. It is.

HRODC Postgraduate Training Institute

I don’t think this training institute for graduate students is very good.  Even when your eyes adjust to the clashing colors and tiny print, you still feel overwhelmed.  Scroll down to the bottom.  Someone spent a part of their life making this website.  I suspect that’s why they don’t want to take it down.

Worst Website - HRODC

Someone burned their youth on this project. Imagine if this was your legacy.

Creation Museum Taxidermy Hall of Fame and Antique Tool Museum

Tools, taxidermy and creationism.  I think this site is a joke, but I’m not sure.  Visit the slideshow.  There’s a fish with fur and the oldest rock on earth.  Here’s a caption from a picture of tools from their museum, “What do antique tools have to do with creation? Nothing!  God did not want even the building of an altar to have anything made by man in it.”  Please tell me why.

Here’s another one from a picture of a peacock, “some say that a random series of events over millions of years resulted in this beautiful peacock.  You know better!”  Are they creationists making fun of evolutionists?  Or the other way around.  I don’t know.

Worst Website - Creation Museum

Is this a joke? We don't know.

Alterra Media

Put on your headphones for this website.  There’s a beach with a horse and a pink wolf. The title fades in with dramatic music and you can hear the water.  Alterra Media does websites and videos.  Most of their portfolio pieces are broken links, but there is one gem worth exploring (keep your headphones on):

worst website: alterra media

Bow Wow Books

Here’s how the navigation works:

  1. The home page has a picture of a dog with a bug on its head.  If you press on the image…
  2. …two more pictures appear:a dog with a ball, and a dog with a book. If you press on the dog with the book…
  3.  …you get a picture of a dog eating books, a dog sniffing a pole and a dog typing.  If you press on the dog eating books…
  4. …you get a long page of testimonials.

Because the website is called Bow Wow ‘Books’, I have a suspicion this website is trying to sell books. However, I can’t figure out how to find them.

Worst Website - Bow Wow Books

They sell books. I can't find them.

Brill Publications

This website gives you the experience of riding in an elevator.  It’s like that weird elevator from ‘Inception’ where it takes you to different dimensions.  But these dimensions are boring.  You can go to a library where there’s a middle aged man with a mustache.  A different floor has a waiting room.  We don’t know why.

The elevator is slow and most of the floors are ‘Under Construction’ .  The one redeeming floor is the rooftop garden which is kind of relaxing.  You can listen to Kevin Glancy and there’s a waterfall.  Keep it on in the background while you work.

Worst Website - Brill Publications

Why does this man want me to be quiet? I won't.

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